I Did It

Last night, I was panicking a lot. I kept looking at my list of bullet points for the doctor and thinking it all sounded so whiny. I was convinced he was going to think I was wasting his time. But the good people on Elefriends were very encouraging, and at 3.00pm today I sat in the waiting room of my doctors surgery

I was far from relaxed of course. My eyes kept filling with tears and I was convinced people were staring at me. But then my name got called and I made my way to the doctors room. I knocked on the door and went in, asked him how he was, and when he did the same I just burst into tears. He was very understanding though and kept making me laugh, which was positive. He compared my bullet points to the notes that the sister had written when I tried to get help the first time, and said “you’re almost the same as you were three years ago.” Hearing that it had been three years since then made me cry again. He ascertained that I was severely depressed and prescribed me fluoxetine, and also gave me a self-referral leaflet for counselling

He said he was proud of me for coming in, which set me off again. There was mascara all over my face, I looked reminiscent of a panda. But honestly, I’m quite proud of myself. It’s been a long time coming and this is a massive step. Although I’m under no illusions it’s going to be plain sailing, hopefully it’s onwards and upwards from here

Thanks for reading, Hils


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